it’s 4:20 you know what that means. time to go out and milk the cows. life on a pennsylvanian farm is tough but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
I literally stared at this for like 10 minutes, holy jesus look at his fingers
other languages are so seductive though. if we’re ever fricky fracking please just say something in another language if you know it. say something dirty in german. seduce me in french. summarize the basic plot of the wrath of khan in spanish. tell me your favorite recipe for cornbread in latin. i really do not care. anything.
Things Girls Have To Do In The Shower:
-wash the face (have you ever tried to get makeup off)
-wash the body
-try to get conditioner out & fail to get it all out
-did i mention shave that takes a long time
-like summon satan and stuff
Things Boys Have To Do In The Shower:
-i dunno i think my brother uses soap sometimes
Don’t complain when my shower’s not 5 minutes long
most girls: hair done up really cute, lots of makeup, designer clothes, hipster blog, thigh gap
me: no hair, glasses, scary beard, button up shirts and porkpie hat, cooks meth to provide for my family. i am the danger. i am the one who knocks
I went to public school.
i lost it after attempt 510.
Literally me whenever I play any game.
I don’t care how many times I’ve watched this or reblogged this, every time it appears on my dash, it will appear here. Just… fucking christ.
I CAN’T IM JUST MY FACE HURTTSSSS
*ends every piece of advice with “idk though” so that its not my fault if i ruin ur life*